One of my managers said to me: “we (the engineers) must hold strong opinons, but hold them loosely”. I found this tidbit of wisdom quite profound.

A lot of engineering has a lot to do with discussing ideas, proposals, designs and approaches. It’s not unheard of people spending days, weeks, or months on these ideas, polishing them, so it’s only natural to defend this work viciously.

An open discussion, discussing ideas on their merit, usually yields the best outcome for all engineers involved. However, it’s on the main stakeholders to make hard decisions and even the best discussion may be overruled by the powers that be.

That’s why you have to hold onto your opinions loosely. Whether the discussion goes against your proposal, or the powers that be disagree with the direction the project is heading.

Some people want to win the argument for the sake of winning the argument. Some people want to win argument just to look good in front of a manager or the group of peers. I find these types of discussions and arguments very unproductive. It’s good to hold opinions strongly, and strongly believing in them, but they have to be substantiated by supporting arguments and reasoning.

A blind belief in opinions is not a way to win an argument or making decisions. Being stubborn, defensive or uncooperative is not a productive discussion.